Thinking Well of Yourself

The group, a group of individuals...you are one of those individuals. If you are going to think well of the group, you have to think well of yourself. Now this may be the fundamental difference between me and Ginger...okay — she was a dog and I am human...but deeper than that... Ginger lived in a state of Grace. She did not know about original sin. Nature or nurture, you may ask. Ginger had stories of a troubled puppyhood. Not the stories of the hounds of the Ozarks by any means, but she cringed when she saw a fly-swatter for her entire life. That untold story was for Ginger about her abuser and never about her. It was not about whether she was a good dog or a bad dog.

A cornerstone equal to and parallel with “thinking well of the group” is “thinking well of yourself.” What if, in your interactions with this group, you were to build your relationships on the cornerstone that you are a worthwhile being in the process of becoming whole, and so is everyone else?

What if all of our differences, the different skills that we have developed, our different styles of relating, our different sizes and shapes, our varying choices about education, income, and partners were just that— information about the different paths that we have walked and the choices that we made along the way?

What would it be like if our choices were never used to determine our worth? What would it be like if the only criterion for determining our success or our failure was our relationship to our own goals?

Success. Failure. What would it be like if all of our failings or mistakes simply let us know what we were currently learning, the road signs that tell us we are on a growing edge? What if we formed a community where our mistakes were never used as statements about what we innately are - about our intelligence, adaptability or true nature? What if all of our successes were just times when we fulfilled an intention, and they, too, weren’t statements of our current value?

hen your essential worth is not in question, then conversations can be about what happened, rather than about what we are. We may want to share our intentions or the process that led to our choices, but what if, you never had to defend your essential worth to yourself? What if you could say yes when you wanted to and no when you wanted to? What if your worth was not dependent on giving anyone what they wanted, nor was it dependent on not asking anyone for anything that they are unwilling to give?